My destiny, my fate, wish I had it in my control...

When something unexpected happens to you, in a larger view, like:

     ·        You call your mother who lives in another city. The bus/ car in which she came met with an accident and she died.

     ·        You keep failing either in exams or in any relationship.

How would you feel?

I would feel very dejected. The first thought would be, “why is this happening to me? I am very true, hard working, loving and a caring person; I have never wished anything bad for others, why me?” In the case of my mother’s accident, I would be filled with the guilt that my mother died because of me. This guilt will keep killing me, every second of my life.

I understand. But do you get an answer to it? “Why is this happening to me?”

Yes, people say, “Everything happens by God’s will”, so He has written my fate this way. Sometimes I feel, how can He be so cruel? All say, He has the biggest heart, He is an ocean of love and … but I don’t believe in any of these. My life has been ruined. If he really loves us so much then why should I be a victim to all these incidents? Why did He write such a destiny for me?

Very true. Why should God write a destiny for us?

Means? Each ones destiny is written by God. The entire world believes in this.

Is it? Now you are reading this blog, did God ask you to do so?

No, I wanted to read. All these are simple things which are in our control. But there are bigger things in life which are not in our control but which are in His control.

Everything, each and every breath of ours is in His control but God does not control us. He always guides us in the right path. We are all bound by our karmas, our every thought, action and deed.

Let us stop blaming God for everything in life. We all have been so much immersed into the habit of blaming that when we don’t find any logical reason for something, we blame God.

Person1:  Why didn’t you come to temple for darshan today?

Person2: (Immediately) What to do, I tried but could not, maybe it was not God’s wish.

Person1:  Please come to attend the Gita class tomorrow, the topic is very interesting.

Person2: I’ll surely try. If I have God’s blessing (perumal anugraham/ bagavan ki marzi), I’ll come.

When has God ever stopped us from going somewhere/ doing something?? Let us stop this blame game. Let us accept that we had some other priority and not point our fingers up.

Have you heard about the law of karma?

What is the law of karma?

The law of karma says:

However you are this moment, you will receive its returns in future.

If you are and radiate love, peace and happiness today, you will receive the same in future.

If you are and radiate anger, hatred and jealousy today, you will receive the same in future.

Who created the law of karma? GOD?

Yes, the supreme God created the law of Karma. He is an ocean of love, peace, happiness, knowledge, power and bliss. As per the law of Karma, He said, man lives a life as per his own karma. This means, as I live my life, I am bound by many situations. I always have a choice of how to respond to situations and people.

If I think and respond positively, then I create a good karma.

If I react negatively (be it for any reason), by mistake or purposefully, if I compromise on my values, principles and ethics, I create a bad karma.

What is karma? How and when is it created? Who creates it?

The word Karma means action or deed. Karma actually means an energy that comes from every thought we create. Our every thought has an energy associated with it. Good/ positive/ pure thoughts produce good energy. Negative/ bad thoughts create bad energy. Here, energy refers to vibrations. Vibrations, refers to the feel or aura around us. It is like, when we meet certain people, we really feel very nice, the person may be unknown to us. That is because of the good energy created by them by their pure thoughts. We may also feel the other way too.

We get a good feeling in some places like temples or even someone’s house. At times we also feel so bad that we leave the place as soon as possible. Is it similar to that?

Yes, this feeling is due to the vibrations of that place, i.e. vibrations created by the people there.

But you said every thought creates energy? How can it be? Can you prove it?

Sure.

Say you are back from office and are very tired (physically and mentally). Someone rings the door bell and it is your mother (or the person you love the most). You feel happy, right? Actually what makes us feel happy is the wonderful pure good thoughts we create, like “Oh, Ma, I love you so much, what a surprise!!” you then hug and kiss her and start telling her all day- today stories. Do you feel mentally energized? Yes, good thoughts create good energy and makes you feel refreshed, good, happy and peaceful.

Now say, you are very happy. You cook your husband’s favorite dish and serve him. He eats it fully and finally comments, “It was OK, not as good as my mom’s recipe.” You feel bad right? Actually we create thoughts like, “I put so much love and effort in cooking for you and you just behave indifferently, how mean of you, if it does not taste like your mom’s, then ask her to cook daily for you, my love means nothing to you, why did you ever return so early from office, in future, have your dinner in some hotel and come, it was stupid of me to cook for you,…” These negative thoughts will go on and on, that we can write a book of it, in just 2 minutes. At the end, how would you feel? Very tired, have headache, feel sad and irritated, etc. These bad thoughts create a negative energy which in turn makes us tired and weak (mentally, emotionally and physically.)

Whenever you feel excited, just check your thoughts, you will know what energy you created. 

Positive good thoughts are a few in numbers, but make us feel happy, peaceful and strong.

Negative thoughts are huge in number and will drain all our energy in just few minutes.

When you think about something or someone, who thinks? Is it God?

No way, He does not control our every thought. If He had to create our thoughts, then we all would be perfect human beings. It is up to us, what we think. Hence, we create our own karma.

What is destiny/ fate?

Destiny is the situations we face in life because of our past karmas; it is the result of my karmas.

What is past karmas?

When we say, “I”, I refers to the atma/ the soul. “I” am not the body or the name I hold or the position/ role I play in life. So I, the soul, have taken several births before, in several forms of body (bird/ animal/ insect/ human/….).

(My body, name, qualifications, designations, qualities, achievements are all physical entities that belong to me, they are not ME.

I refers to the atma, the soul, the inner being.)

The way I had behaved and the thoughts (good/ bad) I had created during my previous births, accounts to my past karmas. My thoughts (good/ bad), which I created in my present birth until this instant also adds to my past karmas. All my past karmas together form my karmic account.

What is the relation between my karma and my destiny?

Whatever is happening to me, in the present, is because of my past karmic account. My destiny is created by my own karmic account.

Analogy: When I throw a ping pong ball towards a wall, the speed, the angle, the way I throw it depends totally on me alone. Once I have released the ball from my hand, it goes and hits the wall. It is sure to return to me and can take its own time. But I am not left with any other option than to face it.

The way I throw the ball – my karma

Facing the ball when it returns – my destiny

The result of my karmas can reach me at any time; it may take 1 second or minutes or days or months or several years. But I am sure to face it. How I react to this present situation (destiny), creates another karma- good/ bad, which again totally depends on me only. Based on this karma, lies my destiny in future.

So, do I create my destiny?

Yes, we create our destiny. The situations we face in life, both ups and downs, are the result of our past karmas, something that we have chosen in our past.

Is it??? I was thinking till now that God creates my destiny. Whenever something happens we say, “Everything happens by God’s will”. What about that?

No, God does not create our destiny. God decides on who our parents are (again depending on our karmas) and gives us a physical body.

Let us assume. If you have the power to write your child’s destiny, how would you write it?

I would want the best for my child. He will be in best health at all times, first in class, first in all activities, topper in all exams, best in behavior, excellent communication skills, works in the best company with the highest salary, gets married to the best person and lives the happiest life.

No drawbacks, no sadness, no troubles in life.

Excellent. We are ordinary people, when we love our kids so much, how much will our real parent, who accepts us whole heartedly, who is an embodiment of purity, understanding and forgiveness,  GOD love us?? If He had to write our fate how would He frame it??

Just perfect!!!

But is our life perfect always? No, it cannot be, as we have created it by our karmas, not God.

If we create our own destiny then what is God’s role?

God gives us the power and strength to the face our destiny (result of our own karmas). He guides us along the journey of life with love and compassion (while creating our karmas). He has given us pure qualities of goodness and divinity, which has the power to overcome any situation with peace. He has given us this body and it's senses to be an instrument to exhaust our karmas. He gives us a free will, a choice, a decision to make, using these authentic qualities.

If I am happy now, what is the reason? Who is behind it?

If we are happy, it is the result of our good karmas, the good that we have created in our past, along with God’s grace.

If I am in some problem or sad or hurt, what is the reason? Who is behind it?

Again, we are the reason. Our sadness or bad happenings in life are because of our own karmas, something that we have chosen or created in the past. God is not responsible for our karmas. Whenever we do something wrong, for the first few times, we are warned many times to stop it. This feeling is due to God’s grace on us. But when we refuse to obey and keep doing the wrong deed, this action of performing mistakes becomes a habit. We then, no longer feel we are wrong. It becomes automatic and feels natural. That is the reason we have many wrong sayings like: “Anger/ stress/ tension/ worry/ fear is natural”. These are actually unnatural for any human being. We are so much immersed in such habits that we feel it natural and so “Falling sick after 30 years of age has also become natural”.

OK, if I am responsible for my destiny, then I need to be very careful in creating my karmas. Is it true?

Yes, absolutely. There is a saying “Fear God”. It is wrong. God is not our enemy to punish us or rule over us. He is the most compassionate companion to everyone in the universe. It should be “Fear your karma”. Karma begins in our thoughts. I can do something good for someone but it becomes a good karma only if I do it with love and happiness.

Example: If my neighbor is a little tired and has come home at dinner time, I can either offer her food or avoid it. I will be able to create a good karma, only if I understand her state and offer a dinner with compassion. On the other hand, if I just offer her dinner with a thought, “Couldn’t she have her dinner in some hotel? Is it nice to come uninvited and expect dinner? Her behavior is awkward, is it the time to come?”, then I am creating a bad karma, as my thoughts were impure.

So we always need to think twice, what we should think.

But the law of karma seems to be like a tit for tat game. Why would God do that? He always blesses us irrespective of our behavior; will He want us to face problems in our present life because of some mistakes in our past?

God has created this Law of Karma only for our own good. Karma is actually a chance that is given to us to enjoy the good and exhaust the bad. When I think and do good actions, it comes back to me and I enjoy. When I think and do bad deeds, it again comes back to me. Now it is my choice whether to continue to grow the negativity in it or to respond positively and exhaust my bad karma. When a baby is born, the soul carries a karmic account and sanskars with it. This karmic account, being exhausted totally depends on how this soul is, during its lifetime. As and when the soul faces a challenge (which we call problems), the bad karmas decreases from it's karmic account (provided he responds positively to it). When the soul faces enjoyment, the good karmas also decreases from its karmic account. It is just like how money decreases from our bank account as we spend it. Now decide which one you want more in your account, good karma or bad karma? If you want more good and less bad karma, then face all challenges of life with goodness.

Analogy:

It is like a retest. In school, we write tests. After a few weeks, there are retests conducted for us to learn, prepare in a better way and rectify our mistakes.

It is like a boomerang, when we throw it, the speed, angle, direction depends on us. This is like creating our karma. When the boomerang returns, it is up to us how we face it. This return is similar to destiny. When it returns, we can plan and catch it at the right angle without getting hurt or be careless and get hurt.

Real life incidents:

There was a couple and they had a kid, 10 years old. They were happy and contented with all they had. The boy was a well behaved and bright student. He prayed daily and was a fun loving guy. One day, they went for a marriage and while returning, something from a tree fell on the child’s head and he died on the spot. There was no single scratch on his body but he was no more. The family was totally distressed. Their relatives and friends had one common question, why did this happen to the boy? He was so pure and good, he was exceptional in his behavior but why did he die?

All start blaming God for this happening and say God does not have any sympathy, He is rude to good people and some throw the pictures of God in their house and lose their faith in HIM.

We need to think, is really God responsible for what had happened? It is merely the game of karma. This is the mantra for life, we need to tell and believe this every second. “Everything that happens to me at any point of time is only the result of my own karma, something that I have chosen in my past and everything that happens to me at any point of time is the best that can happen to me at that instant.” This law is applicable in all circumstances of life. This statement will end many of our questions in life. Acceptance of people and situations will then be easy and natural; we need to face them positively, as we have chosen them before.

Then we often say, “This was destined to happen to me”. What does this mean?

This means that I had already written in my karmic account as to what should happen to me in this birth. God does not and will never interfere in our karmic accounts. He only guides us to listen to our inner self and live a life of truth, peace and happiness. The choice on how to live totally depends on us.

We also blame the “time” for many bad happenings in life. What is it about?

As stated earlier, the result of our karmas, our destiny, is sure to return to us at some point of time. When it is something unexpected and uncomfortable we call it bad happening. The time frame during which it happened is termed as “bad time”, since we were not happy with it. But we should always remember the law of karma, our own karma only returns to us. So we need to face it with positivism else we will continue to create another negative karma and it goes on.

There are many atrocities happening in the world like murders, rapes, child abuse, etc. If we are to say one’s karma as the reason for every happening in one’s life, then all these atrocities will be justified. Please explain in this context.

Yes, it is true that there are many unethical practices being followed in this world. This is because people have forgotten their own value systems. As per the law of karma, all that we do today will return to us at some point of time.

Say, 2 people, A- 24 years and B- 25 years. A killed B due to jealousy/ anger. After 2 years, A gets married and delivers a baby. Just imagine, if B had taken the form of a baby in this birth and is now the child of A, what emotions would the baby have towards A? Is it not natural for the baby to be filled with anger, hurt, pain and revenge (sanskars from previous births)? Now A had created his karmic account of killing B, but A is unaware of actually who her baby is. If A grows her baby with great love and affection and teaches the child true good and divine values, she can change the quality of the child’s thoughts in a subtle manner. But the child is sure to harm A in some form or the other; it may not be physical harm but can affect her emotionally. Now if A blames God for it, is it sensible?

Every soul born in the world carries karmic accounts and sanskars (feelings/ values in subtle form of previous births) with it. These 2 parameters depend on how the soul had endured his previous lives. That soul which is born, can take any form of body, human being/ animal/ insect/ etc. If born as a baby to a parent, it means that the baby and parent hold a strong karmic account (good/ bad). The same principle holds true for any relationship, spouse, mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother, sister, cousins, grandparents, uncle, aunt, friends, etc.

So, if you feel that your mother-in-law is rude to you, then, please understand, it is the return of your karma, something that you have chosen in your past. So now, it is up to you to adjust and be good to her, else you will end up creating another bad karma w.r.t her and this cycle of negative karma will continue.

If karma is the reason for all happenings then I can hurt someone and call it as his karma. Anyways karma is something that cannot be proved or seen. So all deeds (good/ bad) can be done and karma is there to take the blame, right?

We need to understand that whenever we do something wrong/ bad or something that is uncomfortable for us, it first affects us. Additionally, we are also writing a very bad script in our karmic account. You can hurt people today but please be ready to face it in future. The intensity of the karma may be severe. Later never question as to why such negative incidents are happening in life. Remember, it is something that you have chosen in the past. The past cannot be erased or changed but the present can be taken care of to the best possible extent.

When you buy a gift for someone’s marriage and if you know that the same gift will return to you some day, what gift will you buy?

I will buy the most wonderful and beautiful gift in this world.

It is the same with karma too. Now you know that whatever you think and do, is creating your karmic account, which will return to you at some point of time. So how would you create your karmic account?

Is it? If it is true then I would fill it with love, peace and happiness. I will create pure good thoughts for everyone I meet and do the best I can. Even if people were to hurt me by scolding or shouting, I would understand them and respond positively.

But does my good karma guarantee that I will face only good in my future?

No, we have created a lot of karmic accounts in our past, which is a mixture of good and bad. So we will face situations according to it. But from now on, from this moment, if we concentrate in creating only good karmas, it will become easier for us to face our destiny, however it may be.

So does it mean that I need to accept my life as my karma and undergo torture at times? Say, if people misbehave or take me for granted, do I need to consider it as my karma and allow it?

No, never. Every karma returns to us as our destiny. But we always have a choice of how to face our destiny. We should not allow others to misbehave with us. We can think of and take necessary steps for it. This is where God helps us. He has given us a pure soul which speaks only the good. We need to keep ourselves calm and stable within, in-order to listen to it. At the same time, never cause harm to people.

All right, so from now on, if anything unfavorable has happened, who is at fault??

I, myself. God is there to help me rectify it. I take full responsibility of all that is happening with me, as it is something that I have created in my past. I also understand the need for facing my destiny with total acceptance, as this is the only way to lead a peaceful life.

THANK YOU. SO MUCH!!!

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